This will have to be a quickie review because the LO is napping and for some reason the clacking of my keyboard always seems to make her stand to attention like a militant librarian in study hall. Folks, if you have a kid who is a light sleeper, don’t let people shame you for it. Sometimes you can do everything right when they’re babies: run a vacuum, listen to the TV on high, blow dry your hair, accidently step on the cat’s tail and it doesn’t make a bit of difference. Some kids are just naturally light sleepers. We have a totally thankless job as mothers and we get blamed for a lot of weird crap, but that one just doesn’t hold up for me. After all, I’m a light sleeper so it doesn’t surprise me that she is too and I don’t blame my mom for not having listened to Pantera while I slept.

As of right now, it has been 27 hours since I last slept. I feel that this puts me in a good position to review this film, entitled Rough Night. In fact, let’s play Would You Rather to see if Scarlet Johannsson and her crew had a rougher night than my husband and I. Ready? Ok…Would you rather spend seven moonlit hours carrying around a heavy one year old who screams the second you put her down OR kill a guy, severely maim several other guys and have a threesome with Demi Moore and Phil from Modern Family on a beach?

fewjog

Sounds hot but think of the sand

I’ll let you mull that over, but I think you’ll all agree that the scenario involving Kate Mackinnon will win. Every time.

This movie was great. I was confused by the cast because I don’t associate Scarlet Johansen or Zoe Kravitz with comedy AT ALL, let alone raunchy comedy. I stand corrected though because those girls were hilarious. All my reviews are tinted with the rose-colored glasses of being away from the kid for a night, but all I can say is that I laughed consistently throughout and my husband did that weird smirk thing that is hard to see through his beard but is his way of signifying that he is amused. This might be weird and anti-feminist to say about a movie with an female ensemble cast, but the best parts were the ones involving Scarjo’s fiancé Peter and his groomsmen. The men in this movie were…effeminized is I guess the word I’m supposed to use, but really its more like they were real men. They weren’t this butch false representation that has become the norm in film. They were skinny, had weird hair cuts, and they sat around and talked about girl trouble in a way that wasn’t exploitative or purely sexual. They also gave Peter perhaps the worst advice I’ve ever heard. I really don’t want to give it away, but it involves all the adult diapers.

Speaking of toilet humour, the tampon code is BRILLIANT! I am angry at my college self for not coming up with that. The nights that could have been salvaged! Speaking of college, the sexual fluidity in this movie is crazy refreshing. Two of the girls dated in college, then one of them married a man and had a kid and that’s not something that anyone in the movie is confused by. Kinsey would be proud.

I’m so happy that the last two movies I’ve gone to have been directed by women. I started thinking I should make that my thing and only review female directed movies, but the sad fact is that I would rarely get to go, and momma needs her Large Popcorn Combo on the regular.

My husband’s thoughts on the movie were that Kate Mackinnon, who played an Australian friend of Scarlet’s, was the funniest and that the Aussie jokes that peppered her dialogue were great. “I love how polite she was in the face of all that racism.” He said on the drive home.

wgheiAn accurate representation of the eating habits of Australians and Americans

I asked him which of the girls he thought was the hottest and surprisingly he said Scarlet, no question. I pointed out that her hair was seriously unfortunate, to which he replied, “she was able to do what could be done with hair like that.”

I also told him I felt like we’d made a mistake not getting married at a foam party in Malibu.

“Ya?” he said, scowling as he picked at the questionable substance caked onto my steering wheel, “Cause I don’t. Why are those people just standing in the road? Look at that house. Its so basic. Why do you never wash your hands after feeding the baby? This is never coming off you know. The resale value on this car…”

Love him.

diaperdiaperdiaper

 

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