Guys, I feel bad that I haven’t really brought my kid to any of the movies I have reviewed lately. All I can say in my defense is that Stars & Strollers have been having a mega drought when it comes to animated musicals and that’s really the only genre that holds my LO’s interest. What can I say, she’s found her niche and she’s happy there, dammit. I swear when I criticize The Wiggles she looks at me the way I look at people that watch Two & a Half Men (watched? Please tell me that show isn’t still happening) like I have such bad taste in Australian children’s folk singers I’m not even worth her time.

wiggles3

Those aren’t hands they’re flesh colored guns aimed directly at the brains of anyone over the age of three.

I did bring the babe with me to see Beauty & the Beast last week. Problem is, she naps at 2pm and the movies always start at 1 so we only made it to Gaston’s manly musical antics in his hunting lodge/whore house/open-to-the-public man cave before we had to bail. So, I’m afraid yet again I’ll be reviewing a movie that I saw with my husband. His younger brother watched the baby for us which means she didn’t go to bed until 10 o clock and the house looked like a frat party had rolled through it on their way to Greek Week when we returned. It didn’t matter though. I was beyond excited about getting out after a week of going to bed when she did to make it through the 3, 4, and 5am wake ups. When we got to the front of the concession line and the woman asked which candy we wanted with our combo I literally burst into a stream of unsuppressed giggling which my husband promptly joined in. The woman looked frightened so I felt I needed to explain.

Me: Sorry, we don’t get to leave the house much.

Husband: This is a big deal for us

Concession Lady: Uh…is this a lifestyle you’ve chosen for yourselves?

Me: One Year Old

Concession Lady: Say no more. You take as long as you like on that candy.

As for the actual movie, I feel a little out of my depth with this review. I’m not very tech savvy. I’ve wanted to see The Circle for awhile, but not for particularly deep reasons. Primarily it was because seeing Emma Watson on the big screen gets my husband in the mood and also that they’re watching you song that played during the trailers managed to both titillate and creep me out enough to make the film stick in my memory.

Link to the song which will make you want to put red lightbulbs in all your lamps and writhe sensually

I’ve never read the novel that this movie is based on. I read another of Dave Eggers’ novels A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and thought it was the worst kind of pretentious tripe. I took a cue from my grandmother when I’d finished it and chucked it out the window of a moving vehicle to let it die on the side of the road like so many squirrels that had a similar level of deluded confidence. I was willing to overlook that though, thinking that Hollywood so often distorts good novels into bad movies that perhaps it would go the other way this time. Conclusion: it didn’t.

I didn’t much care for this movie. I was thrilled to be out, and that always seems to color my reviews with more generosity than I would normally have (see Ghost in the Shell which was trash, but got 3 Clean Diapers because I was childless and my husband was digging ScarJo’s weird nude body suit in a way that benefited me) but I couldn’t ignore the fact that my primary emotion throughout this one was boredom. Since I want you to get a review showing both sides of the coin though, I will also give you my husband’s thoughts as he was so into it the only action I got during the screening was when he elbowed me off his armrest.

Me: So, darling, tell the good folks on-the-line what you thought of The Circle

Nick: I thought it was really good. I thought it was going to be set in the future but all the tech they featured; Drones, The Cloud, Crowd Sourcing, the Internet of Things, all exists. The way they showed a big company trying to consolidate platforms was incredibly accurate to what Google, Facebook, Amazon and Microsoft (to name a few) are doing right now in their respective ways. Big data analytics is so popular right now. The movie accurately combines many current technologies and markets into a consolidated platform that is ethically and politically divisive

Me: You talk good.

Nick: I liked that it didn’t choose a side politically. The ending left us unsure of if Emma was in the right and dubious of both sides’ intentions

Me: Oh, its Emma now, is it?

Nick: It was cool because the movie shows us how dangerously unchecked some of these big corporations are ethically. They have so much power consolidated in one spot. I mean we may actually have to do something like this to bring down Google someday soon.

Me: I can’t post this now, or google will start watching us

Nick: They’re already watching you

Me: Skynet!

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